“Amerika”

Amerika, your buzzing world
Your energizing cities
Are not me!
Your mellow mountains and curvaceous hills
That make my heart overfill
Too far from
Home

I wake to the sounds of the city
(my city-not my city)
The noise is a bitter reminder I am not home
The clash!
They remind me that two cities can not be one

Amerika, my city and your are filled with the same clatter
But it does not matter

My heart is like taffy, stretched and pulled
A million miles from here to there
And I think how can I possibly belong here? (I don’t)
They are not my people
They do not speak my language

and yet-

I am here and not there
I cannot change this destiny, this pre-decided course
Amerika, wert
your world is not mine
I am alone here!
push me down
spit on me
Amerika!
Will I rise above?
(Du gehst mir auf den keks)

(The author tells this best, so I will allow her to.)

I wrote this story from the perspective of a German immigrant coming to America to live here. I was personally inspired by my Opa who made the journey from Germany to the United States in the late 60s. He and all of his siblings (not all came to the states) grew up in inner Berlin and, with the help of the catholic church, moved to Columbia, Missouri with nothing but a suitcase carrying seven people’s “belongings.” My Opa felt very alienated living in the U.S. for a long time; he was called a Nazi and other terrible slurs. Throughout the poem I have experimented with a few things to add emphasis to certain words. I added italics to words that I felt needed to be stressed to show the importance. . . I also added several German words and phrases: Amerika is America, wert is dear, and “Du gehst mir auf den keks” literally means “you’re on my cookie”, but really means someone or something is getting on your nerves. I wanted ambiguity to come through the line, “they do not speak my language.” It could mean that they literally do not speak their native language, but also that they don’t feel like the people around them understand them because of the difference in the cultures. . . The unknown is if this person is able to get over the discrimination and alienation he feels.